Have you ever worked a retail job? Then this one is a must read for you.
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It was the Spring of 2016...
I had recently left my IT job for Mercedes Benz after my Director at the time decided to take off the entirety of December while we had a major construction project on our plates and were massively understaffed. Exhausted from working back to back days yet not quite done with my degree and having moved back home to save rent money, I decided the best next step for me was to take an easier job - just something that I could comfortably work at while balancing my college schedule. I began to send out applications to a bunch of entry-level positions, stuff like McDonald's, the local bar, and even construction, all to no real avail. They saw what I was - a 21 year old reaching for the stars that wouldn't stay at a place for longer than a month, let alone a year if they could find better; why waste their time? Rejection after rejection rolled in until finally, one company reached out: Target.
From there, I was no longer Seth, the IT Administrator who needed to work late hours to make sure all the tablets were up to date so we could repair cars coming in. No, I was Seth, the full-time cashier who was probably too friendly for his own good. But, in that moment, a massive shift in my mind came about: I was a part of a team bigger than just me - I was a part of the Target expereince. For some, I was the first person they saw as they walked by my lane, and for many others, I was the last Red-Shirted member on their way to the door. And I felt a sense of belonging, a sense of comradery, a sense of solidarity with everyone that dared to take on Bullseye's mantle. I was a Target Team Member.
Over the next three years up until shortly after I graduated college with my Bachelor's of Business Administration in Information Security and Assurance with a specialization in Cybersecurity (I don't get to give the full title often, let me have this one,) the iconic Target red flowed through my veins. I moved through the company, jumping from Cashiering to Guest Services, Cafe to Stocking, and eventually ending as the almost Produce Team Lead, I knew that store like the back of my hand, and I loved it. Sure, there were bad days and worse coworkers, but we were all united behind the big red balls. We were a family.
Well, family until I left. Then y'know, it just never was the same. Work dramas just don't hit the same when you're talking about a horribly configured Firewall compared to an employee accidentally shattering an entire case of Fireball liquor after all. But, what if I never left? What if I was a perpetual Target Team member until this very day?
That's what today's book explores...
In 163 pages, we live a part of the life of our protagonist, mid-30's Keiko Furukua, in a way that is both violently plain yet utterly unique as she fights with some of the most real examples of life that I could ever imagine being written. You see, Keiko isn't exactly our typical plucky protagonist; in fact, she's quite the opposite in that she's highly analytical and painfully not empathetic, to the point in which she, as a child, used a quick shovel crack to the side of the head to stop two boys fighting. Because of this, she often struggles when she doesn't have any type of instructions, because left to her own imagination her "solutions" to problems often get her in trouble. Keiko strives from a young age to act "normal," to mirror the lives of those around her as to not stand out, and the store in which almost all of this takes place in, Smile Mart, just so happens to have a set time for everything.
Across the duration of the book, Keiko shares with us the mundane way she lives her life: She eats (so she has energy to work,) she sleeps (so she can get up for work,) and she lives (so she can show up for work.) Being a cog to Smile Mart's system is so important to her, that she practically lives to work, yet it is never addressed as to whether or not this actually makes her happy. In fact, it's more addressed to the fact that society has such a strict mandate of "rules" to follow that Smile Mart allows her to slide by mostly undetected that makes her enjoy(?) the job so much. She can copy her co-worker's fashion style to match that of what a mid-30's woman would wear, share in the emotions of others to raise just the right amount of rage when someone shows up late, and ultimately, she can pass as normal so long as she stays at the store. But, that can't last forever, right?
Just FYI, there are some heavy spoilers ahead about the central conflict of the story and how the book ends below, so hey, feel free to skip this part and read the book yourself from here. It's fantastic, and absolutely worth a few hours of your time. Then y'know, come back and let me know what you thought. We cool? We cool.
Have you ever had the pleasure, or lack there of I should say, of meeting someone who believes "Women should stay in the kitchen" and can't get a partner to save their lives? Yeah, there's an incel character, and he is the most unlikable piece of garbage in the entire book - it actually really soured my read of it because, lo and behold, the dude read like my old college roommate at times. Felt really bad that I juxtapositioned him into this dude's spot, but hey, if the shoe fits... ANYWAY...
This dude gets introduced about midway through, and you know from how much time they give this complete loser that Keiko is going to get involved with him in some way or another. And surely enough, it's not long after he gets fired for stalking a female guest and is doing, just that, again. By this point in the book, he's made mention of how he would never go after Keiko because she's not attractive enough for him, working at a convenience store is below him (despite him doing so,) and that he's working on what sounds like a crypto scam to make it big, and just needs someone to fund it. And despite all of these unappealing bits, Keiko actually lets the guy into her home. Much to our dismay.
The worst part is that Keiko isn't doing this out of love or anything like that, in fact, she does this because she sees this misogynist's hatred of modern society as simpathetic to her needs: that if she takes in this human trash, the world accepts her a bit more because now she's not a 30-something year old woman without any romance in her life! No, she's got herself a man, and the most bizarre part? This actually works. Her family and friends are through the roof that Keiko is "healing" even though this man has no prospects and is just a leech upon her! The dude adamently declares that he "wants to get back at all the women who are just a parasite to their men, I'll become a parasite myself!"
I lied, the ABSOLUTE worst part is that because of this waste of oxygen, Keiko leaves Smile Mart. Her coworkers, too, are beyond excited for her, even forgiving the man for stalking them and being a terrible employee! What a novel concept! They even give her gifts to celebrate their new relationship! Without the store to guide her life decisions, Keiko begins to fall into a deep stasis - where time loses its meaning and even existing without the sake of the store becomes a challenge. The Incel of the Month comes with his own series of problems revolving around money, and even when you think he's going to have a redeeming moment, he opts to have Keiko take the blunt of the responsibility and has her apply to a bunch of locations to make him money.
I won't go completely into detail as to where we leave our misunderstood protagonist at the end of the novel, but it is relatively bittersweet.
Genuinely speaking, I enjoyed my ride with Convenience Store Woman. I couldn't put it down once I started, and in truth, it actually ignited a bit of a flame within me to keep reading. I'm currently working on Before the Coffee Cools, so I'll be sure to let you know how that is once I'm done. CSW is definitely a little gem though, and one of which I think everyone could do with a read of. If you've ever worked retail, I think the story will stick with you more, especially if you had older co-workers that regalled you of their woes. But, I will admit, the last quarter of the book is pretty depressing, and this book isn't the happiest in most regards - I gotta say that if you're not feeling up for it, then it's completely valid to skip it for now. But, after reading it, I hope you'll remember Keiko's story the next time you approach a part-timer; chances are, their story runs deeper than you'd ever imagine.
